Me and My Yoga Mat
We have a very tumultuous relationship. It’s on again, off again and can burn hot for a few months but then cools off again. Most recently, I had a 7 month period where we weren’t speaking. Okay, so I did have to leave her in America while I went to Israel and please don’t tell PYM (Purple Yoga Mat) that I cheated on her with a pink one that you buy off the roll just off King George St in Jerusalem. But hey, what was a girl to do? I wanted to yoga in Israel and I needed a mat. I promise it didn’t mean anything… and it didn’t last long. My friend Circus Ninja and I only managed one session before it got too cold to do it outside, we ran out of time and locations, and couldn’t get the internet. What was really cool was that a friend in Denver started a new yoga website so I could do yoga anywhere in the world. It is a really awesome site and when I finally get an apartment (and thus space to practice) I plan on using PeoplesYoga to enhance my class practice.
But here’s the point, PYM didn’t judge me for leaving her here in Colorado. She didn’t judge me for being too busy when I got home to break her out or leaving her in my car for a month while I promised myself I would get back to class. And when I did finally pull her out of her purple bag, lay her on the studio floor, and gently cover her with my purple yogi toes (okay yes, I like purple and I like things to match… but seriously, it just happened this way) she supported me through the pain and challenges of delving into yoga again. She cushioned my head and back and hands and feet as I breathed through my flow, desperately trying to hold onto the poses. She didn’t judge me when I had to slip into child’s pose a few extra times and she cradled me as I took a long savasana (corpse pose) to let my body regenerate itself. My sweet PYM guided me back to my bliss.
In this sense, my PYM reminds me of my faith and relationship to HaShem (G-d). G-d is always there for me. Sometimes G-d sits in the background and let’s me do what I have to do but when I reach out for that ever loving counsel, it is always there. G-d cradles me in my need, fits under me to support my weight, and sits in my line of vision (even if it is ever so slightly) to remind me to plug back into my reality. No matter where I go or what missteps I might make, G-d is there for me. Even if I find myself pushing G-d away or just ignoring G-d, the way I ignored that yoga bag in my car, I still know that when it is time G-d will always be there for me to come back to.
And I am so thankful that I found that. For years I didn’t realize my connection was that strong, that I could tap into it at will without someone or something else’s help… until I looked into myself. Until I realized that sometimes you may not realize your yoga clothes are sitting there just waiting to be put on or your mat is waiting to be unrolled just as G-d is waiting for you to notice G-d’s self and the impact of G-d in your life.
So my PYM and I have made up. We have reforged a relationship begun years ago. And I am sore… so sore from my head to my toes but it is that kind of good sore that as you twinge when you walk you smile because you know you did something good for yourself. And on the same note, I have plugged in with HaShem again and we are working through our connectivity issues.
In my final savasana each night, G-d and I connect again. Through prayer… “I hereby forgive anyone who has angered or vexed me” “May no man be punished because of me” “Let us lay down in peace and rise up in good life and peace” and through the quiet peace of just knowing that we are together.
“Blessed are you, counselor of the universe, who causes the bonds of sleep to fall on my eyes and slumber on my eyelids and light to the apple of my eye. May it be your will that we ALL lay down in peace and rise up to a good life, renewed. Do not let bad dreams or thoughts plague me. Give light to my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death. Blessed are you, sacred counselor, who gives light to all the world.”
December 13, 2017
November 16, 2017
July 12, 2017