Uh... can you believe it? I am considered full term. Meaning, if this guy decides to show up, barring any physical problems, he could come home with us and would be considered a totally normal, full term baby. WOW! That milestone is 37 weeks for those of you playing the home game. We hit 37 weeks last Thursday and are actually on our way to 38 now. I can't actually believe it. Both Dan and I have been in a crazy rush to finish things before this guy gets here. Dan is focused on his work, apple pressing, and setting up the garden. I have been focused on getting my work to a place that I feel comfortable taking maternity leave for 3 months, putting together baby furniture and accoutrements, and organizing our home for his arrival.At this point, pregnancy just keeps getting more and more uncomfortable. Some time last week, I tweaked something in my back and now laying on my side hurts a lot... well when I try to lay on my back, even propped up on pillows, I get tons of Braxton Hicks contractions. So... I am basically in a no-win, no-sleeping situation. That definitely makes me more ready for Baby Haykin to show up!But really, now at this point, the anticipation is getting intense... He could come any day, any time and we really can't wait to meet him. So I say, with slight "OMG IS THIS FOR REAL" trepidation - Baby Haykin, we are ready! Come out and play!
35/35
I can't believe it! We made it to 35 weeks! This kiddo is nearly fully cooked. There is this funny milestone at 35 weeks. You are 35 weeks pregnant and have 35 days until your due date, so you are 35/35! All of these silly things that I am just so thrilled to be reaching.So where are we in our preparations? Well, we were taking it slow until a friend in our Jewish Baby University class delivered 6 weeks early... she was due the day after us!!!!! That put us in fast forward. Dan has been cleaning up his projects and I have been washing and organizing baby things. The one outstanding issue is the car seat. We choose the UppaBaby system based on very positive reviews from experts and people we know. We received the whole stroller set as a (very generous) gift from the Haykins and the bassinet that comes with it will be Baby Haykin's bed until he can sleep through the night. Now we needed the "Mesa" car seat.My folks offered to purchase the car seat for us so my mom and I went to the store... only to find it gone. We went online... not one available! What is GOING ON!? Too much stress for me! It turns out that they discontinued the old one because they were launching a new one... except, the new version was delayed. Well... this guy is planning on showing up in June (G-d willing) and we can't wait for the new one to be released. So I went on an online hunt. I found literally ONE seat left in (what felt like) the world. So we bought it (wrong color but at this point, who cares). The next day we get a call from the place where we purchased it, Stroller Depot, to let us know they actually don't have one. AHHHH!!!! But the very nice guy on the phone said he had just taken one out of the box and would be happy to give it to us since we are all located in Colorado and he can't ship it.So we are headed down there this week to get ourselves an infant car seat! WHEW! I know it's not the end of the world but I was looking to steer clear of buying adapters and such.Now all we have to do it pack bags for the hospital, sterilize some bottles, and wait for little man to arrive!
3/3/15
Today was a hectic day. Meeting after meeting. Project after project. Email after email. I cranked all day. But there was something that was never far from my mind today.Today, our little girl, our second baby, was due. I felt such hope about that pregnancy. Surely after our first loss, G-d would help us keep this baby. All the signs were there. We found out we were pregnant on Dan's birthday. The baby was due on 3/3, one of the alternate dates we picked for our wedding. But also, if the baby was born on 3/3, we would share a hebrew birthday 13 Adar. We would both be Purim babies. And if this baby came two weeks late (just like I did) we would share an English birthday. My in-laws, my stepmother and I all share March birthdays. See?! So many signs.
But that little girl was not meant to come home with us. She was very ill, we found out after we lost her and it was (we learned from the doctor) better that she wasn't born. But she and her older sibling (due 12/13/14) are never far from my mind. I wear a little heart necklace all the time now. It reminds me of the two little hearts that aren't here with us. I know that they are in our hearts though and their little brother who, G-d willing, will join us in June will be a very special part of our family.A loss mom said to me once, "I was so sad about my miscarriage but after I had my son, I realized that without that loss, I wouldn't have the amazing boy I have today."So I was sad on 12/13/14 and 3/3/15 but I am so thank-full and joy-full that this little man is growing perfectly inside me. Baby Boy Haykin - we can't wait to meet you! (But stay safe in there as long as you need to!!)Cross posted from TaliaSheWrote.com
It's been a while...
I have to stop feeling guilty for not writing. I get so busy with life and neglect my blogs and then I feel guilty for not writing and then the cycle continues. However, in recent days I have been sending people to my blog for a multitude of reasons and it has amplified my guilt...So here's an update. After our two heartbreaking miscarriages last year, I am pregnant again and this one is looking really good. Currently I am 23 weeks and 4 days pregnant with a little boy. He will be, G-d willing, making his appearance in June.The road to this place has been really bumpy. And I have had a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head. I have chastised myself for not blogging through a lot of these thoughts at 1am when I can't sleep... because I am often so busy during the day (and my 'baby brain' is so intense) that I always forget my thoughts and never get them down. It's usually the quiet moments when my son is bouncing around inside of me like I am a human bouncy castle and the insomnia is on full blast, that I think of these things. It's also when I remember all the work I've forgotten to do and the errands I forgotten to run.I'm proud of my body for getting us here. In three short days, we will hit our next milestone... viability. Meaning if our son was born, he would have a chance of surviving. He's kicking me as I type this... haha, maybe he's mad at me for not being able to see 40 (or 42) weeks as the end point. I'm just too jaded to get that comfortable with assuming it will completely work out well.This pregnancy, we only went week to week. In the first trimester, we got weekly ultrasounds and our lives built up until that moment when we saw his heartbeat. Then we nonchalantly talked about dinner and a grocery store run and forgot about it all until the next week. After we got out of the first trimester, I kept putting off telling people. I was just so afraid to lose the baby again. At 10 weeks, we had a free cell DNA test. They take my blood, separate the baby's DNA from mine and tell us if anything is or could be wrong with him. That's also when we found out our boy was going to be a boy. By 12 weeks, we had the results back... he was perfectly healthy as far as they could see and he was a he. It was then when we decided we could celebrate, just the two (three) of us. Finally, around 14 weeks we told friends and family with a note in our holiday cards and then a facebook post.
I had so many creative ideas during the first two pregnancies... and I was going to take week by week bump pictures... for this pregnancy, I couldn't even think that far in advance. I was barely making it to our Friday appointments. But as it became public and I became very obviously pregnant and there weren't any more tests the doctor could run to make sure he would be ok... we started to believe this is our reality. I'm still not quite at the "My son will be here in June" place yet... but my big ole' belly and his incessant kicks before bedtime make sure I can't ignore the life inside me.So Thursday is 24 weeks... the next milestone. Then we will get into the third trimester around the middle of the 27th week. Then I am traveling to Florida for work (with Dan in tow to carry the bags, or me, or my barf bag... flying and I don't agree when pregnant... but it's not stopped me), then Passover, then my little cousins' bar/bat mitzvah (twins), then time to plant the garden, then a long distance Mazal Tov to my cousin getting married in Rhode Island because I can't travel at 37+(!!!!!!) weeks, then my brother's 30th (!!!!) birthday, then either my son will be here or we will be celebrating his father's birthday and then he will be here!When you put it all into one paragraph... it doesn't seem that far from now... But then I look back at the YEAR I have spent pregnant (yes, off and on) and I thank G-d it's not that far from now.Last March, when I was starry eyed about starting this family, I would never have guessed that I would be here. Twelve whole months later, pregnant THREE times, and six months pregnant. It's beyond belief.Here's us - me at 21 weeks, Dan at... well... handsome.
Cross posted from TaliaSheWrote.com
Check your New York Times...
I am not going to spoil the surprise but I suggest you pick up a copy of the New York Times on Sunday, March 10. :)That is all.
A Wedding From A Distance
Daniel and I both have friends and family overseas who cannot make the trek to Denver as well as friends and family in the US who can't make it either. We wanted to find a way that we could share this day with all of you.We will be webcasting the wedding with the help of Ustream. Go here - http://www.ustream.tv/channel/the-haykins - on March 10th, around 4:45pm Denver time, and join us for our wedding!More info to come! :)
Wedding Brain
You've heard of baby brain? Well I have wedding brain. I can't remember anything. Not only can I not remember anything... I have the attention span of a gnat. Seriously.I start to work on something and then I start something else then I think of something else then something jumps into my mind then I do something then...Then I have 72 tabs open in Firefox, 18 different documents open, four different Adobe products open, I haven't eaten lunch and it's nearly 4pm. Now, this isn't just wedding related... this is everything related. Call your mom, finish that script, write a press release, make a logo, write a blog, call a vendor ... it goes on.I really think this is a thing... wedding brain... Wait. What was I talking about?
Auf Ruf?
If you happen to be in Denver, Dan and I hope you can join us on March 2nd at 9:30am at Rodef Shalom for our Auf Ruf.Auf Ruf? What the heck is an Auf Ruf, you ask?
Well, every Saturday Jews read a section of the Torah during services. The weekly parsha, or Torah portion, is scheduled on a cycle to ensure that the entire Torah is read out loud during the course of one year.When the Torah is read aloud in a synagogue, members of the congregation are called up to say a blessing before and after the reading; being called up to say these blessings is called receiving an aliyah and is a great honor.An auf ruf is the custom of being called up to the Torah for an aliyah, usually the shabbat before the wedding. It is usually the groom, but in our case, we will share in the honor. We will come up to the Torah, say the blessing, the Torah will be read, we will say the next blessing and then the rabbi and congregation will shower us with (preferably soft! wrapped!) candy as a symbol of sweetness and support. The rabbi will then bless the us and our union.Once we have completed the whole service, join us afterwards as Dan's parents have graciously sponsored a kiddush and oneg (meal). There will be delicious food and good company.A special thank you to Michael and Elena Haykin for sponsoring this for us and to Rabbi Gerson and Rodef Shalom for welcoming us into their community.
Etsy Wins For Details
I have just found so much success on Etsy for details for our wedding.I wanted a wedding hanger for my dress... found it on Etsy.
I liked the history behind the wedding dress label... found it on Etsy.
Here's that history: In the 20’s and 30’s, couture gown designers starting designing personalized labels for their clients, and attaching them inside the gowns. Now brides can use this special touch to make wedding gowns truly their own. When the tradition of labels for wedding gowns started, it was seen as the last time a bride would use her maiden name. So the bride’s full maiden name and wedding date was sewn into the gown. More recently, brides began choosing to put their name and the groom’s name on the label with the wedding date. Today, anything goes—from nicknames, monograms, or symbols—whatever the bride feels has the most meaning for her.These labels are sewn into your wedding gowns lining at the hem, or inside the top of the gown, where a typical clothing label would go. They can be sewn in any color, but are most commonly done in blue for the traditional “Something Blue.” They can even be sewn as a pocket to hold something special, like a good luck charm, or other precious item that you want to have with you on your wedding day. After the wedding, the label becomes a memento for future generations to have the name and date from the day the dress was worn. This is a special touch for a dress that will be handed down. And if you decide not to keep the dress, the label can be removed, and kept as a memento of the gown-perhaps to be placed in your wedding scrapbook, next to a picture of the dress.
Right now, Etsy is my best friend!
We Found THE Band!
Whew! Checking things off the list like it is our jobs! We finally put a deposit down on the band. We think they are pretty cool and they have a great repertoire! They can do jazz and more modern stuff too!They are called The Fever and they are from Boulder. We met with Michelle, the manager, and loved loved loved chatting with her. They are super versatile, passionate musicians and we are excited to have them rock out at our wedding!It's coming together!