I happened to me the other day. I didn't believe it would... or maybe I just wasn't sure that it would... but oh boy did it happen to me.My labor was... not traumatic but challenging. I've felt like "I could do that better" and thought about our next child and my next pregnancy with an eye towards "it will be better." But it was all very theoretical. I'm not pregnant (parents, you hear that? I'm not pregnant!) but we've talked about another child and I've thought about how the situation will play out. And by situation I mean labor and recovery...So what happened to turn theory into reality? I got to hold a three week old baby on Friday. We brought our friends dinner for Shabbat and while my cruising, pull up on anything in sight, nearly 20 pound 11 month old almost toddler attempted to destroy their very not baby proofed home, I snuggled a tiny 8 pound baby girl who slept and snuggled me the entire time. And I talked to her mom about her labor. It wasn't that bad. It hurt and was long but it wasn't that bad...And it happened.Boom.My ovaries exploded into my brain and an actual, real conversation about number two began when we got into the car.My labor was hard. We had nearly every complication (it seemed) in the book. We had a lot of medical interventions and looking back, while they all seemed like the best decision possible then... I would change some of my choices given the opportunity to make them again. Not only that but I know what to expect now. Having given birth once, it's no longer a complete surprise as to how it works and what it feels like (well, I say that now... don't hold me to that...), and so I think that will help with some of the anticipation and maybe help with my patience.So the memory of the pain has truly melted away a short 11 months after having my little man and I would totally do it again. Isn't that the joke? If we didn't forget the pain we would never end up having more than one child?And can we just talk about how my kid is going to be one very shortly?! I'm not sure if I am ready for that... but that's for another post.Tell me, did it happen for you? Did you forget the pain of labor? Or did you remember and anticipate the pain for you next labor?
The birth of Baby Haykin
Wow. What an intense thing, to have a baby. Doesn't that feel like an understatement? Not only the labor and trauma of birth but the first week of trying heal while trying to learn about this little creature you have created and brought into this world. It's been a whole week since I had my son (MY SON!!!) and every time I sit down to write this, he wants to be held or fed or changed or loved and I want to oblige! :) But here is the story of his birth:I went in to be checked at 38 weeks and I was already 80% effaced and 1cm dilated. The doctor was excited and anticipated I would have him within a week. I came back for a cervical check and she knew that I was in the early stages of labor. She was going to be out of town that weekend and with everything we had all been through together (she's been my doctor through the two losses and did both of my D&C surgeries), we all (Dan, the doctor, and I) really wanted her to deliver this baby. We had been on this journey for 15 months with her. We had a choice to make. We could see how it goes and likely deliver that weekend with a doctor we never met or let her induce me on Thursday morning and have her deliver him for sure. She felt that every sign pointed to an easy induction and healthy birth (based on objective measurements on universally recognized scales). We decided to strip my membranes in the office and if I didn't go into labor by Thursday morning at 6am, we would go in for the induction.My contractions increased but they were having trouble getting organized. I was really feeling labor but not consistently enough to call it active labor and go in. So Dan dropped Soba off at his parents' house on Wednesday evening and we went to the hospital Thursday (6/11) at 6am. They got us settled, checked me (3cm) and started me on pitocin at 8am. Until about 2pm I labored on but I wasn't progressing. At 3pm everything ratcheted up several notches. The contractions were excruciating and so I tried pain meds... they did nothing but make me emotional. Finally, I asked for the epidural. As the anesthesiologist came to give me the epidural, things went haywire. She barely got into the room when the baby's heart rate plummeted and so did my blood pressure. Immediately there was a team of people in the room. They rolled me to my side, gave me oxygen and a ton of fluids, and then gave me a shot to stop labor. I was having contractions right on top of each other with no break and a very high intensity. We got it under control but that was a scary moment and the moment that Dan and I, if asked, would have said maybe not having our doctor would have been better. Once it was all under control, I got the epidural and that made life a lot better. No amount of movement or breathing could have made those contractions better.Now we have to restart labor. I was 4cm and 90% effaced. It took hours to restart the labor and to get the contractions to where they were before (2-3 min apart). At 10pm ish, I felt my water break with a little pop. We had been dozing and called the nurse. She confirmed it was my water but there was meconium in it. That means that baby had his first bowel movement while inside, likely from the stress earlier. She told us what was going to happen during and after the delivery because of this and had me go back to sleep. She checked my cervix and I was 6cm at midnight. Around 2 or 3 in the morning, they came to check me and I was 10cm! That meant it was time (ish) to have a baby. We did some practice pushing and he was moving down fast so we stopped. The resident checked to see which way he was facing and he was in a poor position. Still head down but face up and his head wasn't tucked. She kept trying to turn him and he would keep turning back! That stinker! She finally started holding him in place between contractions but he would still turn around each time. My doctor came and we talked about it. She was concerned that the labor would take longer and with the meconium, that's not a great idea. Plus his heart rate would dip after every contraction and she was worried. She discussed forceps and a vacuum... that made me work harder. I couldn't feel my pushes (thanks epidural) but Dan looked and me, and I looked at him and ... frankly ... we treated it like a CrossFit workout. Three pushes and a rest, three pushes and a rest.Then during a routine check, they found my temp was above 101 degrees... a sign of a Chorioamnionitis infection - an infection of the amniotic fluid. They immediately gave me antibiotics and now we knew that when baby was born, he would have to have IV antibiotics too.Finally, at 5:43am he came out very quietly. He was suctioned to prevent issues with the meconium and then began singing! His cries sound like he is say "Laaaa Laaaa" like a little singer. He was perfect. I had a second degree, internal only, tear but I was quite swollen with necessitated a catheter for the next 24 hours. We got an hour of skin to skin but he was being very lazy (their term, not mine) and wouldn't eat. He was whisked away to the nursery for medicine and tests. He got his meds and showed low blood sugar so was given bottles of donor milk. After three feedings, his sugar was up, thank G-d. But he had his big old IV in for 36 hours, poor little mite. They struggled getting it in and it ended up in his elbow. It was awful to see. Within 36 hours, both of us were in great shape and all tubes were out.At the end of the day, 7 days later, he is back up to birth weight (5lb 15oz) and perfect but it was a bit of a road to get here. I am just glad we are all healthy and safe. :)