I will argue with you if you tell me that a woman can't do what a man can do... in general. But there are some very clear gender attributes (for lack of a better word). One of those is our female predilection for getting down on ourselves. We women are SO mean to ourselves sometimes!! And thus, we need some reminders.Here are three different sets of reminders. Two were aimed specifically at women and the last are from Amy Poehler's speech at Harvard's graduation.Why is this so important? Because sometimes it is just too hard to remember how much of a bad ass each one of us are. Sometimes you need girlfriend to remind you... and I am happy to be that girlfriend.The first is from a dear friend we shall call Z.Sa. She has always been and will always be a dear friend and an inspiration. I read this when I am down and need a boost:
How to be a bad ass 101:
- Homework for this week: make a list of 10 people you admire and one attribute of each of those people that contributes to your love for them. Find those things in yourself, and if they are missing - strive to make them happen.
- Everyone thinks you have it all. The grass is always greener. They say that for a reason. Act like you are together, and eventually you will start to believe yourself.
- Wear mascara every day.
- Be selfish in order to better serve the ones you love. The more you have, the more you have to offer.
- Give yourself the same advice that you would give your daughter --- then take it.
- Assume that when people are staring at you, it is because they want what you've got ... not because they are judging you.
- Floss. Happy gums make a happy girl.
- Get a hobby that is completely different from anything you have ever tried. Make it something you know will be hard for you. Be invigorated by that challenge and proud of your willingness to fail. It is ok to fail at something that doesn't matter. It is ok to fail.
- Use what you know. Spot. When a dancer is spinning, she spots. Look at something. Don't let the spinning make you dizzy. Turn it into art.
- Turn a lonely weekend into a weekend alone. Recipe: Do-it-yourself - Manicure. Pedicure. Facial. Bikini wax. Bridget Jones. Warm beverage. It never fails.
- Never try to prove that you are smart. People who know it, don't care if anybody else does.
- Roll your eyes and chuckle at yourself. Trust that when you are 40, you will look back at your 20's and laaaugh.
- Wear pink.
- Ask for help. People love to feel needed. Your friends will be happy that they made your life better.
- Bake cookies. Find a fire station. Deliver cookies. Firemen are hot.
- Remember, you are HUGE in Japan.
- Know who loves you, and hang the rest.
Next comes from a very wise woman who has adopted me as her little sister and mini me. This red headed phenom always has the right thing to say to me, what I need to hear... even when it sucks. We will call her DN:
- "Do not language yourself into drama."
- "Always remember, when dealing with a man... 'Being with me is a privilege and not an obligation. If this is an obligation for you, move on.'"
And lastly, from Amy Poehler:
- "Take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible — and I mean that literally. I hurt my knee on the treadmill this week — and it wasn't even on."
- "I cannot stress enough that the answer to life's questions is often in people's faces. Try putting your iPhones down once in a while, and look in people's faces. People's faces will tell you amazing things. Like if they are angry, or nauseous, or asleep."
- "I moved to Chicago in the early 1990s and I studied improvisation there. I learned some rules that I try to apply still today: Listen. Say yes. Live in the moment. Make sure you play with people who have your back. Make big choices early and often. Don't start a scene where two people are talking about jumping out of a plane. Start the scene having already jumped. If you're scared, look into your partner's eyes — you will feel better."
- "As you navigate through the rest of your life, be open to collaboration. Other people and other people's ideas are often better than your own. Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life."
- "Try to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don't know about. Limit your 'always' and your 'nevers.' Continue to share your heart with people even if it has been broken. Don't treat your heart like an action figure wrapped in plastic and never used. And don't try to give me that nerd argument that your heart is a Batman with a limited-edition silver bat-erang and therefore if it stays in its original packing it increases in value."
What she says about her improv education is so true. Say yes to everything. Nothing kills a scene faster than saying, "No, actually..." Listen more than you speak and trust the people you keep around you.Every chick needs a pick me up sometimes... I hope these help you too. :)