I checked my stats from my two Sept 11 blog posts and I saw a familiar image.Thanks for the reminders that I am headed in the right direction, HaShem...
Did We Do More Harm Than Good?
As we wrap up the marathon 24 hours of news coverage surrounding the tenth anniversary of September 11th, a question occurred to me.All day I have been watching on and off. DVRing some programs, watching others live. I went to the Colorado Rockies game today and it was full of symbolism and significance. Former military, current military, children, police officers, and firemen. Every conversation surrounded this significant day.As I wrapped up my day watching home videos and other citizen journalism, painstakingly chronically every second of the 102 minutes that changed our country, I found myself crying off and on... yelling at the dispatchers on tv who were telling people to "stay put" in the towers... cheering for the people running from the dust cloud.I finally peeled myself away from the tv to take a shower.In the shower I had a thought... have we done more harm than good? No, stop, don't jump to conclusions. Let me get this thought out.Today we packed every television station with wall to wall coverage of the tragedy ten years ago. Most stations replayed the reel from the day, ten years ago. The minute by minute discoveries. Was this an accident? Was it an explosion? Was it a small plane or a large one? Did a second plane just hit the other tower? Unconfirmed reports from DC and Pennsylvania. Explosion at the Pentagon. Targeting the White House? Terrorists? Accidents? Air Traffic Control problems? Is this war? This spells a change for our airport security.It sometimes felt like they were fortune tellers... I see a man, his name starts with an 'O' and he has a beard... Obadiah? Osama! Yes, that's it.I watched the coverage and remembered almost every word. The way the anchors interrupted each other. The footage of New Yorkers stricken.But did we do more harm than good by packing this day too full with the past images? I do not disagree that these are vitals pieces of our American history. I do not disagree that they should be archived and brought out to be seen often. But what struck me was that here we are, in the Hebrew month of Elul. A time to look back on our past, take stock of our present, and make adjustments for our future.We took time to look back. We have spent 24 hours looking at every angle of this tragedy... but what we haven't done is look at where we are today and what our future holds. Now I know Katie Couric is not a fortune teller and news anchors, no matter how hard they try, they cannot tell us the future... none of us can. But we sure can give ourselves a mantra for the upcoming year, a focal point, an ideal to live up to.One of the boat captains, who saved many lives (by the way, this was the largest water evacuation ever... larger than Dunkirk which was some 300,000 military men over the course of nine days... our tug boats and ferry men got over 500,000 New Yorkers out of Manhattan in less than nine hours), said "I have one theory in life. I never want to say 'I should have.'"This is what today should have been. Divided into three parts.
- The memorial of the events, the reMEMBERING (once again affirming our membership into this most difficult 'club') of those lost and the horror of the day.
- Taking stock of where we are today and noting our growth and the areas where we, as Americans, can still grow.
- Looking forward to the future, deciding who we want to be and how we want to live.
This is the Eluling process. It's a healing process, one that helps us all move forward and take our memories and lessons with us.I fear we lost an opportunity here, a time when so many eyes were trained on the television screens that could help convey this process.
- I remember those lost. I will never forget. The memory is seared into me. I wish all Americans still loved and helped each other like they did that day and for weeks after.
- The events of 9/11 shaped me today. I do not fear death nor destruction because I know when my day will come it will come, thus I must live every day to the fullest. I learned to care for all and not just the people in my circle.
- I never want to say 'I should have.' I want to do my best in this next year to care for all those around me.
10 Years Later.
10 years. I can't believe it has been 10 years. It alternately shocks me and makes me feel old.
You don't realize how old you are until you get the reminders, the landmarks, the moments for which we measure our life.
Two years ago, on the eighth anniversary of 9/11, I wrote my story of the events that happened that day. My experiences. Oh my experiences in Jacksonville, Florida pale in comparison to my friends who were in NYC or the families who lost loved ones but it is my experience. A snapshot of what people across the country experienced. I won't recap it here but if you would like to read it, you are welcome to - 9/11 – 911 – Sept 11 – 11 Sept.
Today I am reflecting on the time that has passed, how the world has changed in the past 10 years. I am fortunate to be old enough to remember what travel was like before the terror attacks. I remember coming home from my trip to Israel in 1997 and being met by my mother, father, step-mother, brother, and grandmother at the gate. Standing there waiting for me to get off the plane. I ran into their arms, I was comforted by their presence. I remember how that all changed on September 12, 2001. I remember the terror in my friends' voices when they had to travel home that Thanksgiving, taking a plane for the first time since the attacks.
I really remember how we, as Americans came together in the days, weeks, months after the attacks. When people started caring about each other. When selfish Americans because caring and careFULL Americans. When we stopped thinking about money and success and grades and getting from point A to point B but ensured each other was safe, healthy, and cared for. Slowly that ebbed. Slowly, America came back to our middle point, our place where the Starbucks across the street is too far for me to travel, I need one right here. Or my sandwich isn't made right or you didn't answer the phone the way I like or your clothing isn't to my standards or I dislike you for no reason other than you are you and not me.We were still unique but we thought somewhat collectively. We all prayed for the safety of each other.
Today we face a different type of hardship. No one flew an airplane into an iconic building (baruch HaShem - thank G-d). The terrorist threat is minimal. We are vigilant and careful to protect our country. But financially and politically we are in a transitional space. A place where we have dueling priorities. Cut budgets, save money, but care for each other. We must recall that time when your first thought was to get your neighbor out of the burning building. We caring for each other trumped buying a new BMW.
I am thankful to have been alive and old enough to remember the lessons from 9/11. It was a scary and terrifying day... and weeks and months... But I learned so much that day. I learned how important the stranger, widow, orphan, and neighbor in our midst is. I learned that success isn't measured by the money I bring in or the car I drive or the clothes I wear... it's measured in the people I help, the goodwill I share with others, the gift of time I give to those who need it...
Deeper than reaching into your pocket is reaching into your heart.
This is the Kaddish, the mourner's prayer. The prayer we say everyday for one year after losing someone and then yearly on their anniversary of their death. Notice there is very little mention about death in this prayer. The Mourner's Kaddish is not for G-d but for us... a reminder of people and time long gone.
We glorify and sanctify G-d's great name throughout the world which G-d has created according to G-d's will. May G-d establish G-d's kingdom in our lifetime and during our days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; Amen.
May G-d's great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.
Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; Amen.
May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; Amen.
G-d who creates peace in G-d's celestial heights, may G-d create peace for us and for all Israel; Amen.
Two Cool Jews Being Cool Jews in Soho
I have two amazing friends. Okay, I set myself up for that one. I have many cool friends but today I want to talk about two in particular.I met Esty and Dovi Scheiner what feels like a million years ago. Dovi's brother is a rabbi in Colorado who my family is close with and I met them at a bar mitzvah. It is Dovi's sister-in-law Chani as well as Esty and Dovi themselves that I have to thank for my amazing spiritual journey into Orthodox Judaism and Chabad in particular. I am not going to go into my whole background and experience and journey into observance (that can be for another time). What I do want to talk about is the amazing and all-encompassing positive spiritual energy this couple exudes. Here's a little background on these two...Esty and Dovi are both from large and well-known Chabad families. They grew up in Boro Park and Crown Heights, Brooklyn (sorry for the vague sketch, I did not interview them for this blog and am telling their story from memory). They got engaged and set their wedding date. The morning of their wedding they were absorbed in prayer and fasting (as is tradition the day of a Jewish wedding). Until they noticed the chaos around them. Their wedding date was September 11, 2001. As NYC was brought to its knees by terrorists, Esty and Dovi consulted their rabbi... asking if they should get married that day. His advice? Bring joy into the darkness of the day. And so they were married. They have since dedicated their marriage to revitalizing Judaism and bringing a new kind of tradition to the financial district and SoHo. And their success is truly amazing!They founded the World Tikkun Center and Esty baked challahs every Friday and hand delivered them to the mayor's office. In my time with them, in the early days, I met some of the most amazing and inspired Jews, including a young Matisyahu... just starting out, selling burned CDs. Very cool. Not only that but they took me into their home and introduced me to their families. I have been to weddings of sisters and feel close to these women (as I never had any biological sisters myself) as if I were family.I am proud of my friends and though life has intervened and I haven't seen them in far too long I am excited to speak about their success!SoHo Synagogue is the hottest, coolest, trendiest place to daven (pray) in the city. It was when it was in their home... it is even more so, now that they moved into an old Gucci storefront on Crosby street.
- The New York Times says "A hipster synagogue grows in SoHo."
- As for decor choices for the new locale, The Gothamist said, "Of course the young rabbi behind the new synagogue in SoHo for 'unaffiliated, downtown secular Jews' would turn to an 'aggressively whimsical furniture' designer when planning the newest house of worship to hit the chic neighborhood."
- Of course the Wall Street Journal couldn't be left out in this conversation about design, "Mr. Scheiner says he believes young Jews are put off by design that smacks of their parents' Judaism—be it wooden pews or stained-glass sanctuaries."
- Even the Jerusalem Post got into the action, digging into a new format for shuls... "(the synagogue) styles itself deliberately as representing 'a fresh vision for translating the inspiration of Judaism for a new generation,' said Scheiner.... 'It’s completely counter-intuitive,' Scheiner said. 'It’s an unbelievable message about the continuity of Jewish life. This is a generation of Jews that has been alienated from institutional Judaism. They find the grandiose synagogues of old irrelevant and uninspiring.' 'Show me something that’s personally relevant, in a Jewish sense, and I’ll stay,' said Ben Jablonski, a young donor to the synagogue."
- DNAInfo, the online Manhattan news source said, "'We listened,' Scheiner said. 'We learned about peoples' lifestyles, priorities, interests.' And SoHo Synagogue and its revolutionary new space is the result. 'This is a sanctuary,' Scheiner said. 'Hopefully it will be a sanctuary for young Jewish people at the end of a rat-race week.'"
- The NYPost thinks, you might be Too Cool For Shul in their article. They mention, “'It’s Judaism, rebranded,' says congregant Joe Wright. 'It maintains the tradition but offers something new.'” (And they have some great pics!)
- And last... but really not least... my favorite magazine and the best way to stay on top of what is happening in NYC, New York Magazine takes you on a visual tour. Check out their pictures here: Space of the Week: Not Your Father’s Shul
You have to check these guys out if you are ever in The City. They are amazing people trying to do incredible things for Jews. And they bring up a good point... what is the future of Judaism? Certainly my generation feels very differently about synagogue membership than my parent's generation. How do we keep our religion relevant?It is a serious question. Got answers?
Tired of Tiffs Over Tefillin...
What can I say, I can't avoid the alliteration.I am sick and tired of the craziness over tefillin on airplanes. It seems like more and more planes are being brought down or moved to high alert if a Jewish man breaks out his tefillin on-board. But what is equally, if not more so, disturbing is the comments you find on these articles.
An airplane is not a synagogue, mosque, church, temple, or cathedral. Pray discreetly and silently or perform your public display of piety for when you get on the ground. I'm sure everyone but God will be impressed.As a non practicing member of the Jewish faith, I ask you to please not draw any conclusions from these idiots. I suspect that less than .01% of Jews fall into the category of people who would act so stupidly. It strikes me that they were doing this for attention because there is absolutely no reason to do this on an airplane.Do these people live under a rock? To do anything like that on an airplane is ridiculous...it can wait until you get home. These people are either very dumb or playing dumb...it's not a case of a smart person just not getting it.To see the article and comments, click here.To see Alaska Airlines response, click here.
What this does show is intolerance and ignorance of the American people in relation to other faiths or religious practices sometimes. I understand that we live in trying times and everyone is suspicious of everyone (though I am inclined to believe that if it were a Christian many of these commenters would have a harder time condemning it and the flight crew would have recognized it immediately) but that does not absolve us from the requirement to understand and be respectful. I will say one thing, we, as Jews, should take it on ourselves to be conscious of this uninformed nature and be respectful of other's fears. A simple conversation with the flight attendants to inform them of the need to stand and pray and wear ritual garments would not go amiss and certainly ease tensions.
So, I am going to use my blog as a platform to explain some of these traditions. I know that my blog doesn't have that much circulation and this won't reach many of these people but I implore you to share this post far and wide.
Tefillin: Otherwise known as phylacteries. Neither name makes much sense to non-Hebrew/Greek speakers. They are SMALL leather boxes with straps which are put on the head and non-dominant arm during prayer. Inside the boxes are slips of parchment with verses from the Torah. The commandment to wear them during prayer in rabbinic in nature (meaning the rabbis/sages decided on it) and comes from the verse "And you shall bind them as a sign upon your arm, and they shall be as reminder between your eyes," in the Shema (one of our holiest blessings). Colloquially, in Judaism, we say you are going to "lay tefillin" meaning you will put them on.
This comes from Yiddish. Tefillin is regularly worn by Orthodox Jews who believe that the written and oral Torah is divine (came directly from G-d) but also worn occasionally by other male Jews and more rarely by some females in the more Conservative and Reform circles. Today, tefillin are generally only worn during the weekday morning service called Shachrit but previously were worn all day. If you want to read more about the ritual around tefillin, here are some links - Wikipedia, My Jewish Learning.
Images of men wearing tefillin: So, we straight on tefillin? Let's move on to praying. One thing that comes up in the comments seems to be the inability to understand why Jews have to pray on a plane or at a certain time of day and why it must be out loud and not silent.
Prayer: Davening (in Yiddish) or prayer is a biblical commandment, one that cannot be put off or ignored if one believes in the Torah and Talmud as divine. The timing is just as important however, I will not bore you with the intricate details of legal hours and all that (you can read about it here if you feel so inclined and which, by the way, is similar to the Catholic's canonical hours). Suffice to say, we have to complete certain prayers by certain times of day. This can be a factor when you are planning a trip. In reference to the most recent incident, these guys were leaving Mexico with a layover in the USA and then headed to Europe... my guess is no matter when they scheduled, they would have to daven (pray) at some point on a plane.We are required to say 100 prayers a day... 70 of those you hit if you daven three times a day like you are supposed to (you can complete the rest with the blessings before and after food as well as the blessings for such things as after going to the bathroom). Look, basically, there are a lot of rules around how we pray and that is very unfamiliar to people who don't pray or even people of other faiths where prayer is not as proscribed. But for us it is important... like speaking the words out loud and praying in Hebrew... those may be odd to you (Catholics, I know you don't pray in Latin but your priests do so you should have some concept about it) but that is how we do. To follow the rules, if you follow those rules, you pray out loud, you do it in Hebrew and there are some parts of the service where you must be standing. It says it in the prayer books, which part to stand and which to sit. When in doubt (or on an airplane) just stand for the whole service... that's what I do. There is one outwardly odd practice though, that is not rule based. That is the rocking (or 'lurching' as I saw it referred to) back and forth. Why do Jews rock back and forth in prayer? Well, the rocking has become a minhag, a tradition and thus just as important as the other halacha (laws) mentioned here. Ask Moses has a good, albeit short, answer here but I have always found it to be a concentration helper. It helps you focus on the words. It is about the kavanah, the intention, behind it. Here is one view on Jewish prayer from Chabad.
So we pray differently than you. We pray at different times, in a different way, with different props. It doesn't make us good and you bad, it doesn't make you good and us bad. How you connect to G-d or if you are an atheist or agnostic, how you connect to what you need to connect to is your own personal mission. You have the right to ask questions about others but we cannot judge their prayer by our yardstick. I can understand the safety concerns... the fear that many people have nowadays because of the horrific attack 10 years ago. But I don't feel that fear personally. Why, you ask? Because I trust. I trust that I am supposed to land on the ground safely and if I am not there is nothing I can do about it. This doesn't lessen the tragedy that we all felt on 9/11 but it is how we move on. I trust El Al and the Israeli security at the airports to protect us from a hijacking or bombing. With less surety, I trust the American security system to protect American flights from a hijacking or bombing. (Why you ask? Because I trust well trained security personnel over an over-dependence on machines and minimum wage workers. And because Israel has kept any attack from happening since Entebbe.) But most of all, I trust that where I am going, I am supposed to be.I really hope this post has been helpful in understanding our traditions and perhaps can prevent some of these situations from happening on airplanes again.
Second 9/11 Story
Sorry this one is a little late but I feel compelled to share it.
It is the story of my friends Esty and Dovi Scheiner.
Esty and Dovi were raised in the Lubavitch communities in Crown Heights and Boro Park, respectively, in Brooklyn. They were set to be married on Tuesday, September 11, 2001.
The day of your wedding, in Judaism, holds a lot of different rituals than typical weddings. Yes, the bride has her hair and nails done but also the bride and groom (kallah and chassan) fast during the day of their wedding. They say all the psalms (tehillim) and it is said that you are closest to G-d on your wedding day.
Dovi woke up that day and went to shul to pray. He davvened (prayed) fervently and was completely unaware of what was happening some miles away. When he emerged from shul and saw the smoke, he knew there was something wrong. Some decisions had to be made. Esty and Dovi met with their rabbi to make some decisions. Their rabbi counseled, "Look at it as Osama Bin Laden did something evil, and you are doing something small but good."
So they were married. Emotions ran high. Dovi nearly fainted during the ceremony and had to have an IV put in. But something in them forever changed. It became their mission together, the mission of their marriage to foster a Jewish cultural life in Lower Manhattan. The run a group called World Tikkun Center (WTC) and The Soho Synagogue that makes Judaism accessible to everyone.
This couple and their mission has been incredibly inspiring to me and their story is a unique one. I am proud to call them my friends and I hope you visit them if you are ever in Soho!
9/11 – 911 – Sept 11 – 11 Sept
I can't believe it has been a full 8 years since September 11, 2001. It does feel like yesterday sometimes... and sometimes it feels like I saw it in a movie... wasn't Will Smith in that one?
So in the spirit of the day, I will share my story.
September 11, 2001 - Jacksonville, Florida
I was a junior at Jacksonville University. It was like any other morning. I didn't want to get up and go to my Theatre Design class. Hell, I just didn't want to get up. I have a habit of waking up to my alarm, turning on the TV to the Today Show or CNN and falling back asleep. In my half-asleep state, I peeked through my eyelids and saw an image of smoke coming out of the World Trade Center. In my half-asleep state, my brain said, "Why are they showing file footage of '93?"
Then I sat straight up in bed. This wasn't fake. Matt Lauer was telling me that this was happening right NOW. I sat in my bed, bolt upright staring at my little dorm room/college apartment television, listening to Matt Lauer talk and watched the second plane hit the second tower. That is an image I can never forget. I sat in shock, disbelief, but faith that everything will be all right.
Once my shock wore off, I ran and woke my roommates. I kept one eye on the TV while I got dressed. I finally tore myself from the television and practically ran to the other side of campus, to the fine arts building where my class was. When I got there, the entire staff and all the students in class in that building were huddled around a tiny, tiny TV. I remember that it was smack dab in the middle of Mary's office (she was the receptionist for the theatre and dance department) and students, faculty, deans were all huddled, some in folding chairs, some standing, some on the floor just... watching.
I don't know how long I watched. Classes were, clearly, canceled for the day. JU attracts many students from the northeast and I watched my friends call home and ask about family and friends. Consequences weren't setting in... it wasn't real. The realities would come soon.
When we heard the Pentagon had been hit, it was a shock, sort of. I don't think I had any more capacity to be shocked by that point. Until it hit me. The man I had been dating off and on was currently serving in the Air Force and he was stationed to be at the Pentagon on certain days. But which days? Come on Talia! Just remember what days was he supposed to be there. My brain lost its ability to function. Shock turned to fear. I tried to call him. No luck. No phone calls were going out. Phone lines were jammed. I had to be pulled aside by a friend to be calmed down. When my head finally cleared, I could think. Today is Tuesday. He works there Monday and Wednesday. Breathe.
Finally at some point in the early afternoon we couldn't take it anymore. We couldn't sit in that stuffy office that smelled like old sheet music and ancient costumes. My apartment-mate, Zeina and I started the seemingly long walk back home. Silence enveloped us. We couldn't talk. We couldn't communicate. We could only think. This young Jewish woman and her best friend, a beautiful Lebanese woman took comfort in each others presence. When we got home, we took comfort in cooking.
That's what we do. We feed. It's ingrained in both of us from our cultural heritage. We propped open our apartment door, turned on the TV, and cooked. We welcomed anyone who needed somewhere to be. We fed them until we ran out of food. And we sat, as a community, together absorbing what happened.
When I could finally speak to my parents, I told them about my day. My father's first response was, "We have to stand with Zeina and her family now." It seemed like an odd statement to me at the time. I didn't understand. What had Zeina done? Nothing. Except to have been born to an Arab Christian family. Yes, they left Lebanon as Zeina was born to escape the wars but the climate in the United States of America was not a nice one when it came to our Arab brothers and sisters, post-911. Her father had to shave his facial hair because he feared profiling when he traveled. Reality #1
Jacksonville is home to many military bases. With three military facilities plus the King's Bay Sub base close by, Jacksonville was high on the "potential target" list. Additionally, the city is held together with more bridges than I care to count. JU became an insulated campus, one that we were afraid to stray from in the days after the attacks. Reality #2
Bet ya didn't know that tiny, liberal arts university JU has the second-largest NROTC program in the nation. After 911, I watched friends disappear. With the start of the war, I saw many more go. Reality #3
When I didn't want to wake up that morning and I rolled over to catch 5 more minutes, I had no idea my life was going to change. I still remember being walked to the gate for my flights prior to 911. I remember when we weren't angry at every foreigner and Osama Bin Laden was just a funny name I had never heard of.
My life went on, we all grew and adapted to the changes in security, and I refused to be afraid to fly but our world changed drastically that day.
My Rebbe, my father's Rebbe, Reb Zalman wrote a beautiful prayer for peace for 9/11. Here is a link to it - http://bit.ly/911RebZ
Since this post has gotten rather long, stay tuned. I have an uplifting post coming about my friend's very unique experience on 9/11. Possibly the only people in the world that have 9/11/01 as their anniversary.