Belorussian Gefilte Fish Family Recipe

I have a real treat for you today. It was terribly difficult to not post this sooner but ... we finally got to make homemade gefilte fish with my mother-in-law and we actually were photographed by the Denver Post during the process! Here is the article that they wrote about our process - On Passover, scratch-made gefilte fish carries on ancient tradition.

Now, I must say, I was a bit intimidated to make gefilte fish from scratch. It seems like such a hard and intensive process but after hearing the recipe twice and then making it twice (once under the tutelage of my very talented mother-in-law and once on our own)... it takes time but it's not that hard! The most difficult part of this recipe is, definitely, prepping the fish to re-stuff.Here's where I have some interesting geographic information for you... it turns out that gefilte fish made in Belarus is generally sliced into sections and the sections are not fully gutted but pockets cut out with the spine and ribs still attached. This does create a situation where there are pin bones that you have to watch out for. My father-in-law is from Belarus and this recipe (the one I am about to share) comes from his mother and her communist Soviet cookbook that she brought with her when they immigrated.Ukrainian gefilte is slightly different. This is where you pull the meat out of the fish and then re-stuff it into the skin and cook it inside. I hear stories that my mother-in-law's brother is very talented in this style and we are looking forward to learning with him, how to make it.So here is the recipe for our Haykin Family Gefilte Fish. Please note, we translated this recipe from a pinch here, a toss there, taste the raw fish to see if it tastes right... into a recipe you can follow. I apologize if there are things that are not clear. Comment here and let me know if you have questions!

All pictures in this piece are courtesy of the magnificent Cyrus McCrimmon of the Denver Post... who is not only a phenomenal photographer but also a lot of fun to have around for a couple of hours on a Tuesday afternoon.

Ingredients:

• 5 pounds trout (buy the whole fish, for 2.5lbs it is usually two fish)

• 1 pound cod

• 2 large onions

• 2 large beets

• 2 carrots

• 2 eggs

• 1 tablespoon oil

• 4 tablespoons matzo meal (or 3 slices of bread - dried and crumbled)

• 5 teaspoons kosher salt

• 1 teaspoon sugar

• ¼ teaspoon black pepper

Start with large whole fish, trout in our case, which are scaled and cleaned. Cut the fish into 1-2 inch segments. Using a sharp paring knife, cut the fillet meat out of each section, cutting around the ribs and spine. When you’ve removed the meat, you will have two hollowed chambers on each piece of fish. Combine the trout meat with the cod meat and chop finely (you can put it in a food processor). Remove fish and place in a medium sized bowl.Next, combine ONE whole onion (save the second onion for later) with the oil, eggs, matzo meal, salt, sugar and pepper in the food processor. Process until it becomes a loosely processed paste. Add mix to the fish and let rest while you prepare the vegetables.Next, slice the beets and remaining onion into half circles. Chop the two carrots into rounds. (Keep these vegetables in these shapes for cooking.)Take the fish pieces, which are hollowed out, and pack the fish paste mixture into the gaps on both sides and into the bottom. Pack this mixture into every gap in the fish segment. Do this gently and form it carefully. It can easily rip or ‘smush’ out. Set aside the segments as you complete them. It is very easy for the filling to escape before it is cooked, but afterward it will hold together nicely.Now we are ready to assemble the pot. Start by lining the bottom of a medium to large stockpot with onions. This helps keep the fish from sticking. Now carefully line the bottom of the pot with fish pieces and insert beet slices between each piece of fish, so that nothing touches. If needed add a second level of fish. First, line the top of the fish with a layer of sliced onions, then place the fish in, again separating the segments beet slices. As you go, sprinkle fish segments with carrots slices.Once the pot is assembled, cover the fish and vegetables with water very carefully (trick: we pour water into the pot on the stove slowly from a bottle or measuring cup, letting it run down the side of the pot) to make sure you do not disturb the fish mixture at all. It will still easily come apart before cooking.Turn stove top on to a medium/high heat until it just starts to simmer. Watch this very carefully! A rolling boil will, again, make the fish mixture come apart. As soon as there is a slight boil, turn the heat to the lowest setting and let it cook for approximately 3 hours. It must be the lowest possible temperature. The goal is to cook very slowly on low heat. Any amount of boiling or rolling boil will disrupt the very delicate fish mixture.Once it is cooked, remove the sections and arrange on a platter so it resembles the original fish. Garnish with vegetables from the pot. Traditionally, people put a carrot slice on top. You can use the beets and onions as a bed for the fish. Gefilte is typically eaten cold.

Seeking Forgiveness In A Facebook World - GrokNation

Recently, I wrote an article for Mayim Bialik's website GrokNation on forgiveness and Yom Kippur. I am so thankful to now have the opportunity to stretch my writing muscles since I am self employed (and thankful to have friends who encourage it! Ahem-EstherK-ahem). This piece sort of came out of nowhere and everywhere at once. I was searching for a topic that was Jewy but not too Jewy and a post popped up on my Facebook feed... then another one. All of these asking for forgiveness. I thought back to how many times I have done this myself in the rush to feel ready for Yom Kippur. And then I saw a post of a friend of a friend. It so moved me that this is the result. I hope you enjoy the article. 

There is this odd time of year when my Facebook feed is filled with friends with remarkably similar status updates: some version of “It’s been crazy and I know I’m supposed to do this personally but if I wronged you this year, I am sorry.” It’s a sign that Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Repentance, is coming – but does a blanket Facebook status or Tweet constitute a real apology? READ MORE

An Ode To Parsley

I know, I know... don't yell at me! I haven't been writing in forever. I promise that you are back on my to do list, bloggie! Life has been a bit busy with my adorable little guy and moving and etc etc...To tide you over until I am back, here's a little piece I wrote for Mazeltot.org -

As a child, Passover was always a big affair. Growing up as the granddaughter, niece, and daughter of rabbis, we always hosted large Seders. Generally, the first night was the Seder at shul with the congregation and the second night was what we called “family Seder.”Don’t let the term “family Seder” deceive you… they were generally composed of more than just our family. We invited people who had nowhere else to go along with many non-Jews wanting to experience a Jewish festival meal.

My father established a number of traditions for our family Seder, all of which are still in practice today. First, is always his ‘order.’ He teaches us to remember the order of the Seder with this mnemonic – Kooky Mr. M&M may come schlepping after silly boys holding noses (KUoKY MR. M&M May Kome Schlepping after Tzilly Boys Holding Noses – Kadesh, Urchatz, Karpas, Yachatz, Maggid, Rachtzah, Motzie, Matzah, Maror, Korech, Shulchan Orech, Tzafun, Beirach, Hallel, Nirtzah) and you have the order of the Seder.

Read more here - MazelTot.org

Homemade Prune Filling

It is will great disgrace that I realize I haven't blogged in a year. But it's been a rough year. We know it's been at least a Jewish calendar year since my last post was about Hamentaschen. I just wanted to share again, the amazing Prune Butter recipe I found last year from Tori Avey. You can find her Lekvar Plum Butter recipe in full, with stunning pictures, here.This year, I felt comfortable enough with the consistency and idea of the recipe to freehand it a bit. I also did not remember to get the oranges I needed so I had to improvise... this was a common problem for me this year... being 6 months pregnant, my brain seems to have taken a vacation to Hawaii. I also forgot the lemon juice for the hamentaschen dough recipe (you can find that recipe here). What I learned is that white vinegar can substitute nicely for lemon juice. It gives the acidity but no flavor. It worked fine but (baby brain) I left the dough too long before I baked them (think 2 days) and it dried out so I had to start over. Fortunately then I had lemons and added the juice. It really does give it a nice zing.Anyway, here is my modified Plum Butter recipe that I used this year. My proportions are cut in a quarter from Tori's recipe. That was plenty for me to make half a batch of prune. Last year I had a ton of filling left over. I only make one batch these days but ... maybe I will be making more for preschool classes in the near future B'H!Kosher, She Eats Modified Plum Butter recipe (with ultimate gratitude to Tori Avey!)[ingredients]DON'T LET THESE MEASUREMENTS DRIVE YOU CRAZY! I only had a 1/2 cup of prunes so that informed the whole thing. I just felt it out. It needed a bit more water while it was cooking so I added it. I also used white bakers sugar because I couldn't find my brown sugar.Directions:

1. Combine all of the ingredients in a saucepan except for the brown sugar. Stir and bring to a boil for one minute.
2. Reduce heat to medium low so the mixture simmers slowly and constantly. Cover the pot. Let the mixture simmer covered for 20 minutes, stirring every few minutes.
3. Remove the lid from the pan. Let the prunes continue to simmer for 3-5 more minutes, stirring frequently, until most of the liquid has evaporated/absorbed. Keep a close eye on the pan to make sure the prunes don't burn. When there are about 3 tbsp of liquid left in the pan, remove from heat.
4. Stir the brown sugar into the prune mixture till brown sugar melts and dissolves.
5. Mash the prune mixture with a potato masher till a smooth puree forms. Run a fork through the mixture to break up any pieces the potato masher missed. You can also use an immersion blender for a smoother puree, if you want to.
6. Let cool to room temperature before using. Store in a sealed, airtight container in the refrigerator. Refrigerating the filling to chill completely will make it easier to work with when filling hamantaschen.

These are Tori's instructions. They work pretty darn well. I was using a tiny saucepan since it was a small batch. We got a 0.5 quart all-clad butter warmer for our wedding. It was the best gift ever (thanks Joan!) because Dan uses it to warm his cream up in the mornings and I use it for tiny projects like this. Only downside is, it doesn't have a lid. So I did the recipe uncovered. It would have absorbed better covered but it worked just fine. So if you lost your brain (like me) or are in a rush (like me) you won't ruin it if you don't cover it. I also didn't let it cool fully before I used it and didn't mash the prunes enough. I tossed it in the fridge while I did the poppyseed filling and then used it. It was fine but she is right, it will work better cooled. As for the lack of mashing... it didn't seem like enough to use an immersion blender. And the pot was too small for a potato masher... so I violently attacked it with a fork. If I had more time, I might have used two forks. As people have been eating them, there are larger chunks of prune than I would prefer.Regardless of all of my shortcuts and changes, it's a tasty recipe and is now permanently in my arsenal. Now I need a homemade poppyseed filling... anyone have any good ones? 

Great Hamentaschen Bake Off of 2014

I know this post is late. I know! But how can you have a Great Hamentaschen Bake Off before Purim! And then I was a slacker. I admit it. A friend of mine and I decided to have a bake off. My recipe can be found here - We Put The Mon in Hamentaschen. This year I made my own plum filling from a recipe I found at The Shiksa In The Kitchen. Here is her recipe. I will give you Megan's recipes for the dough and the insides as well as my doctored recipe for the plum filling.

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Megan's Fancy (and Delicious) Hamentaschen:Dough Ingredients:

1. 1 cube butter or margarine
2. 1 cup sugar
3. 3 eggs
4. 1 tsp baking powder
5. 1/2 tsp baking soda
6. 3 1/2-4 cups flour
7. 1/3 cup orange juice

Dough Preparation:

1. Cream the butter and sugar
2. Add eggs
3. Mix dry ingredients in a separate bowl (start with 3 1/2 cup flour)
4. Alternate dry & wet ingredients
5. Add more flour if dough is too sticky to roll
6. Roll dough and cut into circles
7. Fill with dried fruit mix
8. Wet finger and dampen edge of dough circle
9. Squeeze circle together in 3 places to form triangle
10. Brush with beaten egg and bake at 375° for around 15 minutes

Dried Fruit Filling Ingredients:Around 3oz of each:

1. Prunes (pitted)
2. Raisins
3. Dried apricots
4. Dried cranberries
5. Dried figs
6. Dried dates (pitted)

Plus some strawberry jam

Dried Fruit Filling Preparation:

1. Chop fruit up in food processor. If you don't have one and you are cutting by hand put some oil on the knife to keep it from getting gummed up by the dried fruit.
2. Put all chopped fruit together in bowl and mix in strawberry jam until everything is mixed together.

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KSE Version of Plum Butter Hamentaschen Filling:Ingredients (This makes a lot! You can reduce by half!):

1. 1/4 cup orange liquor (I used Solerno Blood Orange Liqueur and Ferrand Dry Orange Curacao)
2. 2 cups pitted prunes
3. 1 cup water
4. 1 tsp orange zest
5. 1/4 tsp salt
6. 1/3 cup brown sugar

Preparation:

1. First thing, if you are using the liquor method, put it in a small saucepan and cook off some of the liquor.
2. Next add the rest of the ingredients EXCEPT THE BROWN SUGAR into a pan. Stir and bring to a boil for one minute.
3. Reduce heat to medium low so the mixture simmers slowly and constantly. Cover the pot. Let the mixture simmer covered for 20 minutes, stirring every few minutes.
4. Remove the lid from the pan. Let the prunes continue to simmer for 3-5 more minutes, stirring frequently, until most of the liquid has evaporated/absorbed. Keep a close eye on the pan to make sure the prunes don't burn. When there are about 3 tbsp of liquid left in the pan, remove from heat.
5. Stir the brown sugar into the prune mixture till brown sugar melts and dissolves.
6. Mash the prune mixture with a fork. You can also use an immersion blender for a smoother puree, if you want to. (She recommended a potato masher... large fork worked perfect for me!)
7. Let cool to room temperature before using. Store in a sealed, airtight container in the refrigerator. Refrigerating the filling to chill completely will make it easier to work with when filling hamantaschen.

BR: Sponge Cake For Passover

This is the first in a new series we are calling Baboushka's Recipes (BR for short). Baboushka, or ба́бушка in Russian, means grandmother. In this series we will explore and save the recipes our grandparents brought with them or inherited from their parents. Kosher Hubby's family is from Ukraine and Belarus and my family is from Poland, Ukraine, and Germany... so Baboushka seemed pretty appropriate.Okay! Here we go, our first vintage recipe. This is my great-grandmother's Passover sponge cake recipe. I dug it out today (yes, Sunday, the day before Erev Pesach) for our dessert for the first seder. These instructions are verbatim, in my grandmother's handwriting from her mother. I will add my commentary in italics and parentheses. Ingredients:

• 8 eggs, separated
• Pinch of salt
• 1 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/3 cup cold water, to which you add
• 1 tsp. lemon juice (you can easily fresh squeeze this!)
• 1 tsp. orange juice (you can easily fresh squeeze this!)
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup matzah cake flour, sifted
• Grated rind of 1/2 lemon and 1/3 orange

Preparation:  In a large bowl (she really does mean large...), with an electric mixer, beat egg whites, adding salt, until stiff, but not dry. Set aside.In a small bowl, with electric mixer, beat yolks, add sugar, then liquids, and continue  beating for five minutes.With a spatula gently pour the beaten yolks on the stiff whites. Add 1/4 cup of sifted flour and fold in carefully. Continue to add 1/4 cup of the flour, carefully folding in until all is used.(She neglects to tell us what to do with the lemon and orange zest. I added it to the yolks before I added them to the whites. Worked great.)Pour batter into an un-greased angel cake pan (we tried to use a 7x11 pan but it was too much batter... we used a 9x13 glass casserole dish in the end and it worked great). Place in a 350 degree oven and bake for 55 minutes.Invert to cool, and cut out of pan when cool. (Oops... didn't do that. Planning to cut it tomorrow at the seder.)I tasted it, of course... had to right? It was delish. Just like anything else that is Pesachdik, it tastes like matzah meal but it's going to be a great, parve dessert tomorrow. With a tiny corner cut out. Don't judge. It's a family seder. :)This recipe is by my Nanny - Mrs. Abraham Cronbach (as she is credited on the recipe)... Rose Hentel Cronbach.CHAG PESACH SAMEACH from the Kosher, She Eats kitchen! Look for our adventures with Vegan cooking after the chag. We review Mayim Bialik's new cookbook - Mayim's Vegan Table.

How does our garden grow?

In March, a friend asked me if I would be interested in meeting a guy friend of hers. "He's a really nice guy and very cute," she told me. "Sure," I said, "send me a picture?" She did and man, was this guy cute.We spoke for the first time in the beginning of April (2012). Halfway through our first date, I texted my roommate, "This is the man I am going to marry."Our dating experience could have been typical... dinners out, movies, etc. But our romance was far from that. About our second or third date, I told him about the garden I was setting up. You see, that winter I had put my name on a list to get a community garden plot at Ekar Farm here in Denver. Ekar is a part of the Denver Urban Gardens movement but it is more than a community garden. There is also a farm that produced almost 6,500 pounds of organic produce and donated it to Jewish Family Service's Weinberg Food Pantry. They have honey bees and apple trees and it is quite a beautiful place... but it wasn't that beautiful on April 1st when I saw my overgrown plot for the first time. I started to think I was a little out of my league.But then I met this guy... or as he is referred to on this blog, Sweet Boyfriend. You see, I invited him to join me at the garden one Sunday (after our third date) to help me clear out the plot and turn over the soil.We went to the garden with another friend of mine and pulled weeds. We cleared the old radishes out of the plot and he hand tilled the soil. Then we put bat poop and earthworm 'castings' (it's a fancy word for poop) on the soil. We tilled that and watered and watered and watered.He showed me how to set up the garden and we put some seeds in the ground. A few of my favorite veggies... carrots, beans, beets... he smiled nicely and let me do it... even though it wasn't the right season.But as our garden began to grow, and it did begin to grow... because he put MORE seeds in and starter plants, so did our relationship. On Sundays we would go to the garden and water and pick. Most days of the week he would water... unless I managed to get out of the door on time or he was out of town. I was so proud of this little plot of land! I didn't want to 'break' it.We read about gardens, he was growing tomatoes out of pots on his back porch. AND he had a garden at his parents house... he was now master gardener of THREE gardens!And then something magical happened. Just as we saw the seeds begin to sprout, he took me to a very cute bar and told me he loved me and had known he loved me for a while. I couldn't help but tell him that I had loved him for a while as well.Our love had sprouted.We both traveled in and out of town. We started spending every second of every day that we had available together. Phone calls to parents were missed... friends forgot what we looked like. We were absorbing each other. And so were our plants.Our empty plot began to have tiny plants. My impatience led to many conversations with these little guys, begging them to grow big and give me delicious food... little did I know...Our little plants needed support and care. Sweet Boyfriend bought poles and netting... stepping stones and organic plant food. Every time I visited the garden, there were new surprises.Every time I looked at Sweet Boyfriend, the depth of love I felt for him surprised me. How could I love him so very much in just two months, three months?! While he and I both remained somewhat skeptical and trying to think critically... though he more than I (which you know if you know us). But there was a tug there that was undeniable. To think of life without him... I draw a blank.And then, we produced our first vegetable. His name was Bob and he was a Calabacita. It means squash in Spanish but it is an actual kind squash. I WAS SO PROUD! In fact, I took the opportunity to freak out my parents by sending them an email with the subject line: "Sweet Boyfriend and I are proud to announce..."Yes, they were mad at me when they opened the email and it said - "Our first squash named Bob!" :) Bob was incredibly delicious. We went on to eat many Bobs... son of Bob, tiny Bob, giant Bob... Bob is good.Yes, that is Bob in the picture. We had no idea what he was at first but to taste the fruits of our labor? To eat something that we had grown together? Incredible. We ate him on Fourth of July... which was the same day that we as a couple, for the first time, hosted people at Sweet Boyfriend's house for a BBQ.We continued to show the world that our relationship was bearing fruit (or vegetables... or Bobs as the case may be).And yes, our relationship continued to evolve and grow. We met each others families and best friends. We even flew to Ann Arbor, Michigan so I could meet Sweet Boyfriend's very best friend from college. We created Jewish traditions for Shabbat and Havdallah. We got tickets to our first High Holy Days together.And then yesterday, Thursday September, 27th, 2012... as our garden was in full bloom, Sweet Boyfriend... my best friend... asked me to marry him in our garden. The garden that we nurtured and helped grow. The garden that has now produced nearly 250 pounds of produce. And, as I promised so many friends... here is how he did it:We are currently sharing a car as his blew up prior to a camping trip. He needed it yesterday for work so he dropped me off at my job in the morning. He came to pick me up after work. We had talked about maybe working out that afternoon but first we HAD to stop by the garden. It had been a rainy and cool few days and with Yom Kippur, we hadn't been to the garden in a couple of days. He lured me there with the notion that our watermelon... yes we grew a watermelon!!! might be ready.That day I had forwarded him an email from the minyan (a lay led synagogue) that we had been attending, suggesting that we should join and do a couples membership. He told me "Whoa, lo0k you have to give me a night to think about this. Joining a synagogue as a couple is a big step. I mean, it says something, especially if we aren't even engaged!"I could kick myself! How could I do that?! Scaring off the Sweet Boyfriend is NOT a good idea!So we proceeded to the garden. I flitted around... picking zucchinis and patty-pans while Sweet Boyfriend is off in a corner. La la la... no worries in the world.Sweet Boyfriend says: "Babe! Come here! You have to see this!"I come running. Is it a awesome squash? A yellow patty-pan? I come running. Just as I get to him, he turns around, looks me in the eyes and says: "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."   I froze. Holy crap. That isn't a squash. That is a ring. A beautiful ring."Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes," I said."Can I put this thing on your finger before I drop it in the dirt?" Sweet Boyfriend said.Of course. And though, after a touch of canoodling in the garden, I was ready to get back to picking... he informed me that it was all just a ruse to get me there. And there is champagne on ice at home. And we are going out to dinner.Whoa, can this man plan!When it was all said and done, he has been planning this for a while. He spoke to my father at break the fast after Yom Kippur, the day before, to get permission. His folks have seen and approved of the ring (and me).He became a diamond expert and purchased me a stone cut in a vintage style... to match my vintage style... and he proposed to me in the garden we grew together.  So I must tell you this, I promised him I would not use his name online. He is a phantom like that... but he is no longer Sweet Boyfriend and Sweet Fiancee seems so temporary. Since, to us, this is as good as permanent... May I introduce you to Sweet Husband? Whoa, that was weird to write. :)

I'm wearing a tichel!

I am pretty sure that half of my readers just said "huh?" to themselves and another chunk are about to comment "Mazal tov!" :)For the first group: A tichel is a head scarf married Jewish women wear.For the second group and now the first who are in the mazal tov category: No, I have not gotten married. :)Recently we celebrated the Jewish holiday of Purim. My personal favorite holiday of the Jewish year (maybe because I was born on Purim and it is my Hebrew birthday). Purim is NOT the Jewish Halloween though there are a few similar traditions. The biggest similarity being that we dress up in costume. It's a day when everything is backwards and upside down.This year for Purim, my self-described 'work-wife,' Mel, and I decided that we would switch identities and come to work as each other. This was particularly hilarious since we both have very a specific style of fashion which are different and unique... oh and she is married and wears a tichel or scarf all the time. Let the hilarity begin!We went shopping together to pick out outfits that the other would wear. It was pretty hilarious. "Okay Mel, would you wear this?" "Yeah, I would totally wear those... but will you wear them outside of Purim because you shouldn't spend the money otherwise." HA we were very cost conscious and thoughtful about it! But the most interesting part came the morning of Purim.I arrived at Mel's house at 7:45 am. She was dressed as me and I was dressed as her. Her husband had a good chuckle at us and we went to work. We picked out jewelry and then got down to the good part. I had to pick out a scarf to wear and she had to get her brand new wig situated. Yes wig. My dear friend, who hasn't had hair graze the back of her neck in more than two years, purchased a 'lovely' (read: cheap) red wig to mimic my hair. We dissolved into giggles and I helped her position it. Then it was my turn. We picked out a lovely plain brown scarf and then a fun, silky giraffe print scarf to top it off. She put it on my head and tied it for me...WOW.I went from wacky single to mature married lady in one quick tie! It was a complete change for me... I felt different. Modest. Amazing. We drove to work and stopped at a fruit and veg mart to get some goodies for our co-workers. I felt funny... oddly conspicuous and inconspicuous at the same time. For a minute I wanted to shout... "THIS ISN'T ME! I'M NOT MARRIED YET!" but I also wanted to revel in the respect people paid me. More than anything... I started getting a crick in my neck! I felt like I had a work of art on my head and I couldn't move.We got to work ... and well everyone was shocked! Half couldn't figure it out... even though we were wearing each other's name tags but a few got it right away. Interestingly, everyone recognized me immediately and saw I was in costume but Mel, well they thought she was a new employee! It is truly amazing what some hair, or the lack of it, can do.Mel and I got very different reactions... or maybe the same reaction but the flip sides.Everyone asked me why I would cover my hair and how can I cover my 'beautiful' locks? Their reactions to Mel were joyful. They loved her even with the cheap, plastic, nearly purple hair. They begged her to consider wearing a wig or sheitel occasionally.For sure this was an interesting experience for both of us. Together, as dear friends, we learned a lot and have had some great conversations regarding hair, tzniut (modesty) and married life. To hear Mel's reaction to wearing a wig, check out her blog here, Redefining Rebbetzin.To cap off the experience, Mel and I went to a sheitel sale shortly after Purim at a friend's house. She sells and styles wigs for a living and we went to play. I have to say, after trying both I find the wigs more comfortable and an easier transition for me from single with hair to married without my own mane showing. After wearing the tichel for 12 hours, I couldn't wait to get it off and scratch my scalp!What are your experiences with wigs or scarves or covering (or not) your hair after marriage?And just for fun, a friend who dressed as a Jerusalem Ultra-Orthodox Jew and I pose in the "Frum Lean," typically seen at a vort or engagement celebration. Here are some other examples of the lean: Extreme Lean & Only Simchas Lean.

L'Havdil - This Week's Separation and New Year's

Tomorrow night we will celebrate two important milestones. They both have a similar shoresh (root) but they are different.Tomorrow night, at approx 72 minutes past sunset (click here to get the exact time), we will say baruch hamavdil ben kodesh l'chol... and a few other brachot by the light of a braided candle. We will be doing havdallah. We will be creating a separation between the sacred and the everyday. On Shabbis (Shabbat, Sabbath) we hold our actions to a higher standard than usual. Whether that means you don't drive or cook or turn on light or tear toilet paper... or it means that you spend time with your family and chill out... no matter how you do it, you make Shabbat a special time. (And if you don't, think about trying it sometime. Start simple and slow... maybe choose to not spend any money or do things that you feel are work or maybe... shocking... turn off your cell phone. Trying it for one 26 hour period. It will change your life, it changed mine!) And at the end of this special time, at the end of Shabbat, we must have a ritual to remind us that we can take the (w)holy feeling that we got from that time forward into our week but the week has a different feel to it. Havdallah creates a distinction. It derives from the same root as l'havdil which means to create a separation between something incredible and something ordinary.So shortly after havdalah (okay, a few hours later), we will ring in the secular new year. The Jewish calendar already flipped years back at Rosh Hashanah but the Gregorian calendar will change tomorrow night at midnight. You kinda can't avoid the celebrations. The parties all night long, the goofy glasses that say 2012, the drunks, Dick Clark on tv despite his health... It's fun, it's secular yes, but it's still fun. This is another time l'havdil... to separate. Not from something incredible to something ordinary but from something that has become routine and maybe even boring to a promise of something new and better and extraordinary.Baruch hamavdil ben kodesh l'chol - Blessed are you who creates a separation between sacred and common. Perhaps at midnight tomorrow night we should say baruch hamavdil ben chol l'kodesh or even baruch hamavdil ben zakain l'hadash -blessed are you who creates a separation between old and new - or even... baruch hamavdil ben  h'avar uvain ha'atid - Blessed are you who created a separation between the past and the future.May you all be blessed in this up coming new year. See you in 2012!

As The Candles Gutter Out

Today is the last day of Chanukah. Last night we lit our last candles of this holiday.With all the hype that led up to Chanukah, it's hard to imagine that it is over. I can't image what it feels like for Christians who have (I feel) an even bigger build up to their holiday and then only one night and one day Xmas.With all this holiday spirit and war on Xmas talk... what are we, as Jews to feel when we look at our lit chanukiah?Our chanukiah brings light into the world. We are obligated to light it in a window or so it can be seen from the street. Why? Well it came from a time when we could not do that. When we were forced to hide who we were for fear of persecution or death. Since we no longer live in that fear, since we have the freedom to worship as we want here, we show the world that we are Jews by lighting our menorot in the window. So the menorah, or chanukiah, is like a symbol of our freedom, right? A shining (literally) example of our right to worship. Our Chanukah lights shout from our homes "WE ARE JEWS!"Well, we aren't always about shouting... shouting isn't always the right reaction, correct? Sometimes an outward symbol also teaches us something internally. So we light these candles every night and we gather as families. In my family, at least, we tell stories of Chanukahs past. We sing the same songs that my father sung with his parents (laughing in the same spots at our terrible voices). The candles burn with the warmth of family and love and history and tradition. They are lit in a safe space, for them (on tin foil to make sure they don't burn down the house, says my father and to keep wax off the furniture, says my moms), and a safe space for us. A space where you can be you and you will be loved and accepted and held in the warm arms of generations gone before.But that's how I feel communally and with my family, what about me... personally... what does the chanukiah bring into MY life? So the word Chanukah come from the Hebrew verb - חנך - chanach meaning 'to dedicate.' Funny that this time of year falls within proximity to the secular new year, which is a time for resolutions... or rededicating yourself to ideals and efforts.So as I watched the candles gutter out last night for the last time this year, I thought to myself... to what shall I rededicate myself this year? Well, dear readers, here is my list.

Talia Hava's Chanukah Rededication List:

1. Blogging. I will be better about blogging more regularly, really.
   1. Subhead - Writing in general. I would really love to publish more work.
2. Photography. My camera and I have had a chilly relationship lately. I plan on warming that up soon!
3. Me. I get bogged down in all the work and other stuff that I forget about me. That means exercising and doing things I enjoy (see numbers 1 & 2 above).
4. Volunteering and philanthropic work. I miss it. When I was in school, in my sorority, that was a focus. Let's get back out and help people!
5. Sticking to a budget. I'm trying, I really am... but numbers isn't my strong suit!
6. Dating. A very wise rebbetzin once told me, "Talia, if you want to get married you have to make dating your full time job." Ugh, but you were right! Here goes...
7. Learn how to crochet. Seriously! I've learned twice and I keep forgetting!
8. Start an Etsy store with my friend Amanda, fill it with our art, my photography, her knitting, and other goodies, and sell lots of fun stuff!
9. STUDY MORE TORAH AND HALACHA! Very key. I miss the regular learning I was doing in Israel. Gotta get going again!

Well, those are mine... what does your rededication list look like? May you all have nothing but Mazal, Bracha, Hatzlacha, Briut, v'Shalom for the (secular) new year! (Definition: luck, blessing, success, health, and peace)