Belorussian Gefilte Fish Family Recipe

I have a real treat for you today. It was terribly difficult to not post this sooner but ... we finally got to make homemade gefilte fish with my mother-in-law and we actually were photographed by the Denver Post during the process! Here is the article that they wrote about our process - On Passover, scratch-made gefilte fish carries on ancient tradition.

Now, I must say, I was a bit intimidated to make gefilte fish from scratch. It seems like such a hard and intensive process but after hearing the recipe twice and then making it twice (once under the tutelage of my very talented mother-in-law and once on our own)... it takes time but it's not that hard! The most difficult part of this recipe is, definitely, prepping the fish to re-stuff.Here's where I have some interesting geographic information for you... it turns out that gefilte fish made in Belarus is generally sliced into sections and the sections are not fully gutted but pockets cut out with the spine and ribs still attached. This does create a situation where there are pin bones that you have to watch out for. My father-in-law is from Belarus and this recipe (the one I am about to share) comes from his mother and her communist Soviet cookbook that she brought with her when they immigrated.Ukrainian gefilte is slightly different. This is where you pull the meat out of the fish and then re-stuff it into the skin and cook it inside. I hear stories that my mother-in-law's brother is very talented in this style and we are looking forward to learning with him, how to make it.So here is the recipe for our Haykin Family Gefilte Fish. Please note, we translated this recipe from a pinch here, a toss there, taste the raw fish to see if it tastes right... into a recipe you can follow. I apologize if there are things that are not clear. Comment here and let me know if you have questions!

All pictures in this piece are courtesy of the magnificent Cyrus McCrimmon of the Denver Post... who is not only a phenomenal photographer but also a lot of fun to have around for a couple of hours on a Tuesday afternoon.

Ingredients:

• 5 pounds trout (buy the whole fish, for 2.5lbs it is usually two fish)

• 1 pound cod

• 2 large onions

• 2 large beets

• 2 carrots

• 2 eggs

• 1 tablespoon oil

• 4 tablespoons matzo meal (or 3 slices of bread - dried and crumbled)

• 5 teaspoons kosher salt

• 1 teaspoon sugar

• ¼ teaspoon black pepper

Start with large whole fish, trout in our case, which are scaled and cleaned. Cut the fish into 1-2 inch segments. Using a sharp paring knife, cut the fillet meat out of each section, cutting around the ribs and spine. When you’ve removed the meat, you will have two hollowed chambers on each piece of fish. Combine the trout meat with the cod meat and chop finely (you can put it in a food processor). Remove fish and place in a medium sized bowl.Next, combine ONE whole onion (save the second onion for later) with the oil, eggs, matzo meal, salt, sugar and pepper in the food processor. Process until it becomes a loosely processed paste. Add mix to the fish and let rest while you prepare the vegetables.Next, slice the beets and remaining onion into half circles. Chop the two carrots into rounds. (Keep these vegetables in these shapes for cooking.)Take the fish pieces, which are hollowed out, and pack the fish paste mixture into the gaps on both sides and into the bottom. Pack this mixture into every gap in the fish segment. Do this gently and form it carefully. It can easily rip or ‘smush’ out. Set aside the segments as you complete them. It is very easy for the filling to escape before it is cooked, but afterward it will hold together nicely.Now we are ready to assemble the pot. Start by lining the bottom of a medium to large stockpot with onions. This helps keep the fish from sticking. Now carefully line the bottom of the pot with fish pieces and insert beet slices between each piece of fish, so that nothing touches. If needed add a second level of fish. First, line the top of the fish with a layer of sliced onions, then place the fish in, again separating the segments beet slices. As you go, sprinkle fish segments with carrots slices.Once the pot is assembled, cover the fish and vegetables with water very carefully (trick: we pour water into the pot on the stove slowly from a bottle or measuring cup, letting it run down the side of the pot) to make sure you do not disturb the fish mixture at all. It will still easily come apart before cooking.Turn stove top on to a medium/high heat until it just starts to simmer. Watch this very carefully! A rolling boil will, again, make the fish mixture come apart. As soon as there is a slight boil, turn the heat to the lowest setting and let it cook for approximately 3 hours. It must be the lowest possible temperature. The goal is to cook very slowly on low heat. Any amount of boiling or rolling boil will disrupt the very delicate fish mixture.Once it is cooked, remove the sections and arrange on a platter so it resembles the original fish. Garnish with vegetables from the pot. Traditionally, people put a carrot slice on top. You can use the beets and onions as a bed for the fish. Gefilte is typically eaten cold.

Doing The Thanksgiving Dance

Famously Lorelei and Rory Gilmore committed to four Thanksgiving dinners in the episode “A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving” (season 3, episode 9). Ok maybe it’s not that famous but in MY family (my brother and I), it’s super famous. We watched them get stuffed and bounce from house to house from deep fried turkey to tofurky, stuffing themselves along the way.

That’s a little bit of how my first Thanksgiving with my new fiancé went. We were newly engaged and Thanksgiving is a very important holiday for both of our families.

My family always gathered in Rhode Island because my great-grandmother’s birthday fell around Thanksgiving. All of her children would gather and celebrate. The gathering grew and grew and some of my favorite memories are running around the basement of my great auntie’s (that’s pronounced with an ‘ahhh’) house with my cousins, stuffing our faces with cheese puffs and chopped liver while rolling billiard balls across the pool table, trying not to crush anyone’s fingers (usually unsuccessfully). My memories of Thanksgiving are idealized, I know that, but oh are they clear. Russian dressing on turkey sandwiches for dinner, playing nickel and dime poker with my cousins, the generations all together.

For my husband, Thanksgiving was so much more than a holiday. They escaped Soviet Russia in 1980 and landed in this crazy foreign land that welcomed them and gave them amazing opportunities. Thanksgiving was a way to be American and thank this country for literally saving them. They boarded a train in Russia with nothing, not knowing where they were going. They took their elders and my husband’s big sister on this scary journey. Twenty-four hours (or so) after they got on the train, the doors were thrown open and waiting for them were numerous countries hoping to welcome them to a new home. They chose the United States of America and every Thanksgiving, express their thankfulness for that opportunity. They eat traditional American delicacies (our stuffing is amazing!!!) with some Russian treats thrown in. It’s honestly the most grateful table I have ever sat around.

But what do you do when you have two strong traditions coming together in one couple? Our solution was an “abbreviated Gilmore.” Thanksgiving lunch and some parade watching with my parents, dinner with my in-laws. PLUS there is the off year that we fly to Rhode Island and spend the day with my father’s family.

The thing about marriage is that it’s foundation is compromise. I would love to go to Rhode Island every year but we can’t. It’s not fair to my husband to take him away from the traditions he loves. Maybe one day we will incorporate all the families together at our home but for now, this works. It’s a little more effort, more driving, and more cooking but I am so happy to do it because it creates Shalom Bayit (peace in our home) plus, I’ve come to love Thanksgiving golubtsy (stuffed cabbage), shashlik (shish kebabs), and vinegret (root veg salad) … I just can’t bring myself to try the kholodets (jellied chicken thing) yet…

Photo Credit: Predi Flickr via Compfight cc

This article originally appeared on MazelTogether - formerly a program of Rose Community Foundation.

Eggs at the Coffee Table

I was having rough morning. Who am I kidding... I had been having a rough couple of weeks. Nugget has been cutting two top teeth and two top molars for what feels like 52 years. It's been a drooling, crying, waking up at 3am nightmare around this house. But Sunday was bad. I woke up after not much sleep with a crick in my neck so painful that I couldn't move my head. Uh great. That's super helpful when you are the only parent on that day and have a 23 pound wiggly toddler for which to care.Magically that moment my mom called. I kvetched and complained and she told me that I just needed to go with the flow, that day especially. We were FaceTiming and nugget was refusing to eat the egg I cooked for him for breakfast. She said, "get him something you know he will eat." When he refused to eat even his favorite Mini Club Crackers, she said "eh, don't worry about it! Try again later. In fact, put it on a plate on the coffee table and let him graze."And you know what? She was right. My mommy was right. She reminded me that no matter my agenda for my toddler, to some extent he is going to make his own and while I can fight the good fight most days, some days I get to just go with the flow.So I put our EzPz mini mat on the coffee table, loaded it up with scrambled eggs and some crackers, got him a sippy of milk and made a nice buffet for him. We decided that THAT DAY, eating wasn't going to be a struggle and it wasn't. Low and behold, he came over and started grazing. Not how I want every meal to go but it worked! We had a nice flow that morning and when he went down for his first nap, I was able to take a nice steam shower (another mommy recommendation... instead of washing the dishes or doing laundry) which helped my neck tremendously.I guess what I am trying to say is... every now and then we need our mommy to remind us that it's ok to eat eggs at the coffee table. :)

Baby, There Are Bad People In This World

My little guy was bit by another kid in daycare the other day. It happened right before pick up and he was pretty sad about it when I got there. Now I know that at 16 months the things I say aren't going to stick but one phrase that just came out of my mouth when I was trying to comfort him was "baby, there are bad people in this world."I was surprised and froze for a second. I didn't mean that in his situation. What I meant to say was there are people who do bad things... but there are also bad people in this world and likely what I was reflecting on to him was my recent run in with some bad people. Not just bad people who operate in their own sphere but bad people whose bad and selfish/self-serving decisions ruin wonderful things around them.Just like a baby who doesn't know any better than to bite their friend when they are in their way, these people in our world lash out and bite us to get their what they want. They only see the next move... I want X so I will do Y to get it. Never mind that Y is biting someone or ruining a phenomenal organization... it gets them THEIR way. If nugget's little friend had thought, "hey, biting nugget is probably a bad idea because even though I will get the toy he is playing with, I will hurt him and make him sad and earn myself a time out," it wouldn't have happened but no, many human beings are wired for short term gratification. Cool, I get my name on a building or a fancy title I didn't earn... who cares who invested what in creating these things... I get what I want when I want it (NOW)!It's funny that all this should come up for me now. I have been reading "The Well-Behaved Child" by John Rosemond and this situation immediately reminded me of something he said in one of his columns.

"Even a toddler knows that he can achieve his objective far more quickly by biting than talking, and instant gratification is their objective."

Instant gratification is their objective... and, sadly, I am finding it is the objective for many adults too. No one taught these adults that even if you want something NOW, you don't always get it NOW. But growing up, we are teaching kids (who grow into adults) that they all get rewarded, and not because of their hard world. We focus on dreaming big but now small acts are insignificant. Kids aren't allowed to fail and now their parents refuse to let their children see THEM fail. Which creates a lovely cycle of entitlement by parent and child. In today's day and age, everyone is special and the kid's supposed happiness always has to come first. Not only all of this but in an attempt to right some invisible wrongs, we give our children every comfort available... a thousand pillows so they don't even feel their fall.Here's what I learned from Mr. Rosemond - previous generations were successful because of how they were raised and if we look back at some of those techniques we might find how to raise another generation of successful kids.Back to my point about bad people. For all the planning and teaching you do for/to/with your child, there will still be bad people in this world and your child will have to deal with them as children and as adults. If we don't give our kids the tools to handle tiny dictators, how will they learn to handle "benevolent" adult dictators? They won't. And they will fall when pressured, become "yes" wo/men and find themselves betraying the morals and values you taught them and that they purported to hold dear.So my point to Nugget stands. There are good people who do bad things and there are bad people in this world. You will not be in either one of those groups if mommy and papa have a say. As a family, we will learn the value of discipline together and when you are faced with the bad people in this world (and you will be), you will be well equipped to deal with them. Their fate rests in their own hands and bad decisions. Don't let them drag you down.

Seeking Forgiveness In A Facebook World - GrokNation

Recently, I wrote an article for Mayim Bialik's website GrokNation on forgiveness and Yom Kippur. I am so thankful to now have the opportunity to stretch my writing muscles since I am self employed (and thankful to have friends who encourage it! Ahem-EstherK-ahem). This piece sort of came out of nowhere and everywhere at once. I was searching for a topic that was Jewy but not too Jewy and a post popped up on my Facebook feed... then another one. All of these asking for forgiveness. I thought back to how many times I have done this myself in the rush to feel ready for Yom Kippur. And then I saw a post of a friend of a friend. It so moved me that this is the result. I hope you enjoy the article. 

There is this odd time of year when my Facebook feed is filled with friends with remarkably similar status updates: some version of “It’s been crazy and I know I’m supposed to do this personally but if I wronged you this year, I am sorry.” It’s a sign that Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Repentance, is coming – but does a blanket Facebook status or Tweet constitute a real apology? READ MORE

Laundry Stripping

Oh yeah, let that title sink in...  laundry stripping... I know you are excited. This is going to be a very sexy post... all about dirty laundry! Ahh the life of a wife and mom. So hawt. As one of my friends commented when I said this was my new obsession, "Picturing you doing a sexy dance in your laundry room..." As you should... as you should.

Anywho, here's the story. I was at my wits end. Between the sour milk smell in some of the nugget's onesies and the stank in my husband's workout clothes, the moldy smelling towels relegated to the dog and the dish towels that smell less than fresh... I needed to do something. I tried baking soda in the washer... vinegar... all sorts of detergents... nothing worked. I was on the verge of throwing things in the trash.

Then I remembered someone mentioning in some Facebook group that you can "strip" your laundry (cloth diaper people, you know what I am talking about). So I did some research. For The Love Of Clean is pretty much THE authority on cleaning online. If you have hard water (like we do) or sweat stains or build up of minerals, soap, etc or you bought it already worn (thrift store, etc)... you may need to strip your laundry. Here is a guide to if you should strip, deep clean, or sanitize.

Can I just stop for a second and say that I could read this website all day long? Seriously. Look at all the interesting stuff here!

Ok let's get down to it. I've done it twice now and I am obsessed. Each time the water has been a different color and the bathroom STINKS! Gross, I know but I feel like "whoooo, it's working!" I literally have a batch in the tub right now and love checking on it! I'm taking pictures every hour and they really don't do it justice!

Basically, you are putting enzymes in hot water and that is lifting out the stains, minerals, and stank. It's super easy. See this process in detail and with more information here.

At this point, if you are like me, you are super duper excited and want to get started... but you need supplies first. I ordered mine on Amazon Prime so it got here fast. For The Love Of Clean has a recipe for a homemade version but I just bought the two they recommended - Grovia Mighty Bubbles (cloth diaper mommas you know) and RLR. Get their homemade version here.

1. Start with clean laundry. Wet or dry. I sniff tested after I dried things and made a pile of "to strip."

2. Fill something with hot water. I used our tub because I had a lot of stuff. You can use a sink for a small batch and a top load washer but... that seems cray to me. They say half full... I put enough to cover the clothing. Also, get the water as hot as possible.

3. Add your potion of choice and dissolve it in the hot water.

4. Put your stuff in and let it soak until the water cools (that is like a million years but leave it in for at least four hours).

5. Stir every hour or so to release crap... I put my stuff in and the water was clear, I stirred it and it turned BROWN!

6. When it's done (four hours or cool), drain and squeeze the water out of the clothes.

7. Run a load with water only (no detergent) then dry as usual.

8. Smell your awesome clothes/towels/etc.

Ok so ... here are my pics ... These pics are not doing the color justice... it is so gnarly... If you try this, share your pics in the comments! :)